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Thursday, June 17, 2010

Solar Energy Launch

The highways are brown just like my neighbors yard. If they don't start watering soon it could hurt my foundation. Adding water to your foundation to keep it stay stable sounds good but it doesn't really help. The overall expansion of wet dirt, also know as mud, or the dust bowl conditions of this month make the earth move laterally too. You can try to shrink gaps next to a driveway with swaths of H2O but if your neighbors yard has contracted backwards six feet, the five feet of land you pay taxes on that is between your driveway and his artistic rendition of the Outback cannot expand that much. You need holy water.
Now what to do with all that hot drying sun that has parched the barrio. Collect it. Make some shade. Save some money.
If you put our solar contraptions on your roof and tie into the grid, your house will probably gain $20,000.00 in value immediately. Yes, our photon baskets really liven up the place. You'll be saying to everyone that goes by "I'm better than you and you know it." We can even give you a sign that says "I'm Green and you're not!" Our rentable Tuxedos are emblazoned with flashing neon lights that announce your entrance to any room.
Solar is here and you're thinking about it. I know you are because you're reading this and you know it's the right thing to do. Just by putting solar panels on your roof you can keep your grandchildren from getting COPD. You can even send them to college with all the money you will save on electricity over the next thirty years. That other $20,000.00 will come in handy at the poker table when you finally make it to "Happy Farms Senior Retirement Home and Casino." The place already has solar.
Besides the large tax credits and Oncor kickbacks make solar a real no-brainer even though only the smart will buy into the club. Yes, become a card carrying environmentalist without ever having to hug a tree or tree hugger. Yuk. Stay outta my zone buddy and don't touch me. By the power invested in me I'm green. Want to see my wallet? I bought a $26,000.00 system ($16,000.00 was covered by credits and I save money daily and my house is worth so much more I want to sell it). And you light your home with burnt coal you lignite slimer with a nuker face.
We've got German engineered PV systems that are guaranteed 100% for ten years, 90% for twelve, and 80% for thirty. If just one panel goes down in strength on a lesser Chinese built panel the overall output of the others in the rack are diminished too. If you get a lesser panel with a plus or minus of 10 watts, then the whole system will probably go down 10 watts.
Now just about any electrician can hook you up to the grid and it doesn't hurt near as much as it sounds like. But how many people can heave these large units onto your roof without damaging your roof or the units as well and mount them so the inside of your home doesn't flood when the drought breaks and the monsoons begin again? How many can put them on so the storm-bringer doesn't send them to Kansas?
Hopefully you'll send me your electricity bills, let me come over and check your geo-global position, angle, azimuth, altitude, and arboretum situation, and let us provide you with a professional proposal for renewable energy.
Over 1/5th of German homes have solar panels and we do not. They are thumbing their collective Prussian noses at us and saying you have to send soldiers to Iraq because you don't have solar. Makes you wish another dictator would take over so we could show'em again that even though they make better cars and cameras their bombs can't hold a candle to ours.
For the ole Red White, and Blue you too need to gather American photos and help reduce global warming. Let the meters run backward and we'll keep on the Imperial System. And you'll keep your money and have the right to do the superiority dance to a lively little polka number while your Jon Wright Roofing and Solar Redi shirt flashes to rhythm of the beat.
Kids, don't forget to leave the lights on.