Here's a recap of the meeting:
When the meeting started several people complained they couldn't hear over the International Forklift Rodeo Competition. After 30 minutes of noise I started complaining but to no avail. I asked everyone around me if they could hear and it was unanimous: No. Better percentage than an Egyptian election. Mubarak only received 93% of the vote. I endured 30 minutes more of cruel and unusual punishment before I snapped and gave away the top secret invasion plans. I still had most of my fingernails and teeth so I knew that my commander would finish the job.
No wonder flat roofs today, even with the better materials, are just as pathetic as they have ever been. Demented roofers suffering from Post Traumatic Toxic Shock syndrome are acting as Manchurian Candidates. If their blood pressure was as high as mine was we need to open a triage center immediately.
With just enough gray matter left for reflex action, I crawled out of the cave and realized I was also suffering from oxygen deprivation as a result of all the carbon monoxide poisoning going on. Once back on my feet I called in an air strike but the haze shielded the building from detection. Plus the echos endangered friendlies for blocks around.
"The Great Slaughter" occurred today. Decades will pass before my anxiety will allow me to enter a warehouse again and our population rises to pre-plague numbers.
See you in the ER.
Jon Alan Wright
Jon Wright Roofing, Siding, and Windows
1915 Peters Rd., Suite 310
Irving, TX 75061
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